sarahmarielove

Comedy love

2010-07-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

Hurahh, once again the Edinburgh Fringe is almost upon us. What better way for me to celebrate than to write a blog about comedy.

Ah, yes, comedy. It can make you laugh, it can make you cry, or just rightly, it can make you want to slit your wrists (metaphorically speaking.) Without comedy, be it stand up, sitcom or TV quiz shows, we wouldn’t have an output for those who say it out it is. Take Mock the Week for example. Frankie Boyle was possibly the funniest, yet most crude member of the show. He said things that most people in their right mind would come out with in the street. But people like that remind us of how real we all are, and that we’re not the only ones who get pissed off with the daily subjects in the world. I often have negative thoughts about daily musings, but am often to afraid to talk about them in the case of offending someone. Not a great start for someone who writes and performs as a hobby. I once told a joke about Maddie Mccann and got booed for it. This really put me off having anything to do with comedy for such a long time, but I got over it and thanks to my comedy heroes I am now over that little blip and feel quite passionate about every subject I write about, even if I am likely to offend someone. How can you be diplomatic when all the best comedy comes from negative and emotional experiences?

As for using the hero to talk about those performers that I admire, well, they are, and I am proud to say that comedy has (be prepared to squirm) saved my life. Ok, maybe saying saved it a little over the top, but it has got me through some difficult times, and if any comic performer says otherwise they are lying. The reason they got in to the art in the first place is because it gave them a reason to live and be someone. No one would chose o go in this career direction unless they were obsessed and love it. One comedian who I have seen perform said that people who said this about comedy were idiots (I don’t like to use the word that he did) and as someone who admired this person, I was worried about what he said. I took it to heart; I am only human after all. But now I have grown up to appreciate that others are entitled to their opinion, and just because they are technically in the business doesn’t mean they are right. It was a personal statement that I was silly enough to question, even though deep down I knew my opinion and should have trusted it. Thanks goodness we all grow up and can separate the truth from facts!

I won’t be going to the festival this year, mainly due to a lack of funding and trying to save for my Masters Degree, but I will be looking out for and hot gossip and controversial musings from afar. I’m hoping the Free Fringe will be as successful as usual and that people will be willing to try out the smaller venues as well as the larger ones. Some of the best up and coming comics perform there. Also if you’re in the Stand at any point, have a drink for me. Cheers.

Sarah Marie Love

Oh what a blog

2010-07-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

Once again, I apologise for such a rusty blog. I am desperately trying to get back in to my writing but I'm having a serious mental block. Imagine your bath sink being blocked and the bath water won't go down and someone else needs to use the bath right now! Can you imagine it, CAN YOU? Well, this is how frustrated I feel at the moment. I can get the ideas to go down the drain successfully, if that makes any sense what so ever.

This is a conversation I had with a random in the pub today. I couldn't believe his cheek.

MAN: Hello
ME: Hi
MAN: Can I have your number?
ME: Hahahaha, you're married aren't you!
MAN: No seriously, I only live down the road.
ME: Oh really where?
MAN: See that van over there? Just there.
ME: Oh right, so you live with any one?
MAN: Errrr yeah, a woman.
ME: Bye bye.

Cheeky bugger.

That's enough, I can think of anything to write today. I really hope my creative block improves, otherwise I'm gonna have to contemplate giving up writing for good. This has got to be the worst blog ever written in the history of all blogs. Still, I won't be beaten. The more I write, the better I will get, I hope. Oh God, give me strengh! Why is my one hobby so utterly impossible when I'm not feeling creative?

Sarah Maire Love

New life

2010-07-24T07:15:00.000-07:00

I havn't written a blog in what seems like, forever. So please excuse me for being so rusty and dull. I have been wondering what to write about, which isn't easy when not a great deal has been happening in your life.
I have been working and recovering from my breakdown back in October. It amazes me how long recovery from this mean illness has taken me, but I finally feel like I am making it through the dark tunnel with a light at the end of it. They do say that if a depression takes a long time to come through, it takes a long time to recover from. I think this is true, but I am learning how to help myslef and learning how to reduce the chances of it happening again.
Now I live in Kent, it is harder for me to keep in touch with all my old uni pals. If you are one of them and I havn't spoken to you in ages, HELLO. Let's meet up soon and catch up on lifes' musings. I have missed you. Infact I have missed uni full stop. I'd love to go back and study again, hence why I'm not going to Edinburgh this year; I can afford to go and save up for my Masters degree.
This is just a short blog, but it is important as it is the start of a new me. Every day I will make an effort to write and calculate my thoughts on this electronic device. Who knows what fun and descoveries we will make along the way!

Sarah Marie Love

29.01.2008

2008-01-29T13:55:00.000-08:00

Oh dear, I have just wasted an hour of my life watching Ladett to Lady on ITV 1. I am still surprised that people go so far to make themselves drunk and physically sick. Why do people do this? It isn't attractive, clever or natural to poison your self. It seems to me we have become a generation with low self esteem and self worth, and getting hammered is the only way to relieve this stress. I guess it's a bit like self harm. You know you will regret it in the morning, but anything to heal negative emotions is a turn on.

I have had a fantastic evening. My friend Nicola and I went to the Trafalgar pub in Greenwich after a lecture and caught up with each other. Spending time with friends is a way for me unwind and, depending on the company, to analise people and conversations around me. Tonight we heard a group of students talking about writing and the the art of characteristics in a family setting. Mmmm, very interesting indeed, but surely if you are a writer you also need to discuss every day situations and your life to come up with ideas for your writing. If there is one thing studying at University has taught me is that many people are incapable of thinking outside the box, and instead follow a structure or a routine that has been laid out in front of them. Students seem to be so bogged down with structure and "right" ways of writing that they forget what their craft is really all about; writing. Of course the technical side of things are important to enhance your work and in my spare time I study this, but outside of class I make an effort to live and experience things that contribute to my creativity.

So yes, study structure and theories, but make up your own mind what works for you, and for goodness sake get out there, talk to people and experience conversations and company that you have never indulged in before.

I was listening to an interview with a new, exiting up and coming band called Royworld on BBC Radio 2. Three of them studied music at Goldsmiths and said that the theory side of it was,although interesting, a block of creativity for them. Being taught structures in theory is helpful if you are stuck on a piece of composition, but too much is a block from experimentation. I agree with this, and also point this out when talking about writing structure. pick up your guitar, play the piano and experiment. You have nothing to lose.

Stealing My Post

2008-01-23T10:23:00.000-08:00

Whilst listening to Russell Brand's Podcast today, I discovered that he and I used to have something in common as kids. He told a story of how he used to sit at the bottom of the stairs in his house, and when his dad came in from mowing the lawn, claimed that he had fallen down them. Russell admitted that it was a way for him to receive extra attention as a dysfunctional kid.
Whilst I was growing up, I used to worry about a phase I went through at the age of about 6/7 when I would constantly lie to get attention. I would pretend to fall over in the playground and tell the teacher so she would look to make sure I was OK. Every Monday morning we used to have to write in our English books about the weekend, and I used to make up stories about that. One of them was where I wrote that my family had taken me to see a horror movie at the local cinema, even though it was an 18! This kind of behavior lasted for a good few years.
The most terrible thing I lied about was that I had been stripped at school by teachers because I had some bruises on my body. At this time I was starting to learn to ride my bike and had taken a few tumbles at home. When I told my mother this she was deeply upset and rang a teacher late in the evening to talk about the "situation." She was terrified they thought I had been beaten up, which I never, ever was. The teacher told her she didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and so my family knew I was lying. The only person I would tell the truth to was my sister-in-law.

During the rest of my childhood I worried about my reasoning for doing this. I thought I lied just because I had a vivid imagination. It has now come to me that it was a way of me crying out for attention,not because I didn't get any, but because I was, and still am, a drama queen and Obsessive Compulsive. As I said this pattern of behaviour only lasted a few years, but I often wonder why I needed to feel that extra drama around me.

My life with a cleft lip and palate.

2008-01-19T12:51:00.000-08:00

This is a piece I have written for my journalism class at Uni. It is in relation to a previous blog called "fixed". I wanted to tell people what a cleft palate is and the treatment people go through to not only fix it but restore their face to how it would have looked without the condition. This is not completed and will need to be edited before I hand it in.

My life with a cleft lip and palate.

I was born in Farnborough Hospital with a cleft lip and palate. Because of all the long treatment I have had to tolerate with I feel I am almost as much as an expert on the subject as the professionals who have dealt with me. My parents didn’t know I had this condition, so when they saw me for the very first time my features we quite a shock to them.

A cleft lip is a separation between the upper lip and mouth. Sometimes there can be a split between one nostril (unilateral cleft) and both (bilateral cleft.). I was extremely lucky that I was only born with one split as this meant my treatment wasn’t as severe as if I had been born with both. A cleft palate is when the palate has not completely formed and is not joined together. This may occur at the back of the palate (soft palate) or all the way through both palates (soft palate and hard palate.) Once again I was extremely lucky to have been born with the least problematic condition. Some babies are also born with heart conditions.

About 1/600 babies are born with a cleft lip and palate. The condition is treatable and there is no reason why a child can’t have a childhood like other children, as long as their carers are supportive and playa positive role in the production of their self-esteem.

If left untreated it could cause social difficulties for a child, including educational loss and problems making friends. Luckily the NHS has the equipment and skilled surgeons to treat each child born with cleft lip and palate in the UK. My treatment was largely based at Guy’s Hospital in London. No one knows why some babies are born with cleft lip and palate. Sometimes the condition runs in families and sometimes it doesn’t. The most important thing to remember is that it is no ones fault. You are not to blame.

Being born and growing up with a deformity isn’t easy, as people can use this as an excuse to be a bully. Name calling was a huge problem for me at school, and this made me weary of those around me in all social issues. The most hurtful comment I received was whilst I was having dinner at my Secondary school. A very stupid boy in a year above me called me Bubba. He was a character in the film Forest Gump whose bottom lip stuck out far due to having “big gums.” I hated people commenting on the way I looked. As far as I am concerned it was no ones business and one day I wouldn’t have that intrusive lip, but reminding me of this didn’t take away the hurt I felt inside. Also, people (including adults) thought they had right to remind me every day that my lip stuck out. Walking past down the street or in the school corridor I would often see people pushing their lip out in a way to make fun of me.

When the new cleft unit opened at Guys Hospital I began to see the unit’s psychotherapist. I found her a great help, as I also suffered from General Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It isn’t clear if dealing with the bullying and constant treatment was the course of my mental health problems, but I learned that research has showed that a higher percentage of children with harelip and cleft palate are more likely to than those who don’t.

Evaluation of a Third Kind

2008-01-10T13:31:00.000-08:00

I wanted to put this piece of course work on my blog as it is a way of presenting myself to others without going to deep in to my personal life. This is an evaluation I wrote for for my Performance Writing class at Uni. I'm rather proud of this piece of work, and wrote it down whilst in a state of deep anxiety and depression. I like to look back at work I have written when like this. It gives me a sense of my own well being.

Self Evaluation

This is the first time I have ever performed stand up comedy, and quite

possibly my last. No, I’m only joking, I loved every second of it. Not the preparing for the performance though. I had to come up with some funny material to recite upon a huge Alice in Wonderland fantasy which I call a stage. My quest to find this material was difficult, but luckily I have been writing comedy for about a year now, so I already had some ideas and plans to coordinate the script.

I decided to write comedy for this terms assessment as I have become bored

performing depressing idealistic monologues. I really admire Allan Bennett and his

talent of structuring his own monologues, but I fell my writing abilities needed to be

expanded as I have done these before.

To come up with possible jokes I read many newspapers and researched the

culture scene in the UK. I didn’t realise how much research some comedians did for

their pieces! To engage the audience I used up to date news stories in my set; I

have even decided to subscribe to the famous magazine “Private Eye” to try and get

my creative juices flowing. I mainly used random thoughts that just popped in to my

head. I have no idea why I have this random, bizarre ability to think up nonsense, but

it’s a skill that came in great use for this assessment.

When I participated in the warm up exercises I felt extremely self conscious.

Why this was I’ll never know, but it’s strange how I feel so exited and enjoy

performing but dread and hate the warm up exercises with a passion. Maybe this is a

self esteem problem or I have such a stubborn personality I resent performing what

others ask me to do.

To enhance the strength of the subjects I spoke about I made links between

each subjects. This gave the over all performance a smooth feel which felt as though I

was telling a story rather than trying to be a fake character. On stage I try to be myself

as much as possible. My self character has transformed in to this egomaniac and

stubborn single woman. A typical 22 year old some might say.

Overall I feel my performance was a huge success if I may say so myself. On

stage I felt like I was in another dimension and that everything else in the world didn’t

matter until the piece was finished and everyone watching had absorbed every tiny

piece of information I was giving them. Sitting down and writing, be it for comic

purposes or for my online blog generates the same feelings. I also love being able to

make other people laugh with my material. A bit like a nurse is able to help someone

feel better, I can realize endorphins in someone brain with a simple line. There can’t

be anything wrong with that.

The last few months of this class have really taught me a lot about my abilities in writing as a

whole. I am able to come up with ideas easily, but I now need to keep improving the way I write

them down and structure my work.

Shit, it's New Year already!

2007-12-31T15:41:00.000-08:00

What a nitwit I am. My favorite evening of the year and I screw it up by being ill. To cheer me up I thought I'd write some pointless, delirious New Year resolutions. This is tacky and corny, but as I will explain another day, If I get an urge to write I mustn't fight it, even If I really feel like an ant trod under a wombats footage.

1. Get my acting/performing career underway. No, let me be more precise. Get an agent!!!
2. Book some slots at London comedy clubs. Let's make this stand up dream come true people!
3. Start to write my book.
4. Get up earlier in the morning. I have become a lazy bitch in the last 6 months.
5. Read more. The more books I read the better my vocabulary will be, thus I can then have more confidence in my writing abilities.
6. Open up to people, or as a "friend" said to me recently "let people fall in love with you, and let yourself do the same." I'll see how this turns out and update my progress, if any.
7. Play more guitar.

There we go! Only seven tasks to behold and venture forth in to the New Year with.
No wait. Here's my 8th.

8. Stay alive.

Fixed

2007-12-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been told you were ruined, you needed fixing and untill this happens your life will be complete?

If anyone has, this is a load of bollocks, trust me. For every worth I have been lucky to inhabit and every success I have attributed to, there is never a total piece of flesh that stays still and concealed with perfection. I will never have that piece of mind that I have been "fixed", "sorted" or "improved" the way people wanted me to be. I will always look for that extra bit of pleasure and sanctuary, and if I did I'd only mix it in to a sponge cake and cook it until it burns to ashes.